me Sanity is for the Weak!

Random things (trolling Omegle, random shit I find funny, assorted weirdness, etc.) that is a result of my boredom.

titanswithnoprivateslivein221b:

leviswaxedass:

dahniwitchoflight:

leviswaxedass:

disneydamselestelle:

scottylubemeup:

THIS WAS A CHILDRENS MOVIE

A CHILDRENS BIBLE MOVIE

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Amen

FUN FACT: in hebrew, “feet” is a euphemism for genitals.

so if you ever see “washing feet” in the bible, it, uh. yeah.

(source is my old bible class textbook which i don’t have on me anymore :( )

HOLY SHIT WHAT

I MEAN CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I REMEMBER READING A STORY IN THE BIBLE WHERE JESUS CLEANED THE ‘FEET’ OF A LADY PROSTITUTE INFRONT OF HIS TWELVE DISCIPLES WHO GOT SERIOUSLY GROSSED OUT. THEM GETTING REALLY SUPER GROSSED OUT BY THAT NEVER MADE SENSE TO ME UNTIL NOW.

JESUS CHRIST JESUS.

YOU NASTY.

#WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN JESUS IS THE ONE WHO NEEDS JESUS

THAT HASHTAG I”m—-—

WHAT

(via anomalouswanderer)

scottylubemeup   242651 09.22.14
fangirlingdragon:

cutestmoose:

iwishtoreportaburglary:

thefamilyphantom:

ihaveanarmy-wehaveatimelord:

karen-valentine:

chianina:

heyfunniest:


Someone get this guy a fucking medal.

They made birth control for men. However it never got past the clinical testing stage because its side effects were things like “moodiness, extreme cramping, hunger, increased sexual drive” and were considered INHUMANE.

what the fuck do they think women go through every goddamn month seriously

I’M SORRY MEN CAN’T HANDLE MENSTRATION

men are pussies

Men are not pussies because they can’t handle having one

men are penises

the post was amazing and the comments made it better.

fangirlingdragon:

cutestmoose:

iwishtoreportaburglary:

thefamilyphantom:

ihaveanarmy-wehaveatimelord:

karen-valentine:

chianina:

heyfunniest:

image

Someone get this guy a fucking medal.

They made birth control for men. However it never got past the clinical testing stage because its side effects were things like “moodiness, extreme cramping, hunger, increased sexual drive” and were considered INHUMANE.

what the fuck do they think women go through every goddamn month seriously

I’M SORRY MEN CAN’T HANDLE MENSTRATION

men are pussies

Men are not pussies because they can’t handle having one

men are penises

the post was amazing and the comments made it better.

(via jannineish)

tastefullyoffensive   770874 09.22.14
libutron:

Endangered animals of Sumatra | ©Roger D. Hall 
libutron   849 09.22.14
why-am-i-pluto   10809 09.22.14

suns-of-gallifrey:

whyusosirius:

thesirjordan:

Julie Andrews on how she got the part in Mary Poppins.

WE’LL WAIT

when walt fucking disney waits for you then you are the absolute queen of everything

x

THIS.

(via stasiaexdee)

lejazzhot   334694 09.22.14

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
Dad: Hey are you awake? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
Dad: Fuck the government.
Dad: Fuck the school board.
Dad: Close the door.
Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
Dad: I love puns.
Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
Dad: Please shut up.
Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
Dad: They act like I care what they think.
Dad: I hate homework.
Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
thisisanatattack   230816 09.22.14

ponderful:

Photography by Ellen Von Unwerth

(via klusterfuckme)

stockingssexy   6850 09.22.14
browngxrl:

lostchildofthenewworld:

beautiful-laserz:

thatarabgirl:

whatpath:

Yes, lets imagine a world WITHOUT MUSLIMS, shall we?
Without Muslims you wouldn’t have:
Coffee

Cameras


Experimental Physics


Chess


Soap


Shampoo


Perfume/spirits


Irrigation


Crank-shaft, internal combustion engine, valves, pistons


Combination locks


Architectural innovation (pointed arch -European Gothic cathedrals adopted this technique as it made the building much stronger, rose windows, dome buildings, round towers, etc.)


Surgical instruments


Anesthesia


Windmill


Treatment of Cowpox


Fountain pen


Numbering system


Algebra/Trigonometry


Modern Cryptology


3 course meal (soup, meat/fish, fruit/nuts)


Crystal glasses


Carpets


Checks


Gardens used for beauty and meditation instead of for herbs and kitchen.

University
Optics
Music
Toothbrush
Hospitals
Bathing
Quilting
Mariner’s Compass
Soft drinks
Pendulum
Braille
Cosmetics
Plastic surgery
Calligraphy
Manufacturing of paper and cloth
It was a Muslim who realized that light ENTERS our eyes, unlike the Greeks who thought we EMITTED rays, and so invented a camera from this discovery.
It was a Muslim who first tried to FLY in 852, even though it is the Wright Brothers who have taken the credit.
It was a Muslim by the name of Jabir ibn Hayyan who was known as the founder of modern Chemistry. He transformed alchemy into chemistry. He invented: distillation, purification, oxidation, evaporation, and filtration. He also discovered sulfuric and nitric acid.
It is a Muslim, by the name of Al-Jazari who is known as the father of robotics.
It was a Muslim who was the architect for Henry V’s castle.
It was a Muslim who invented hollow needles to suck cataracts from eyes, a technique still used today.
It was a Muslim who actually discovered inoculation, not Jenner and Pasteur to treat cowpox. The West just brought it over from Turkey
It was Muslims who contributed much to mathematics like Algebra and Trigonometry, which was imported over to Europe 300 years later to Fibonnaci and the rest.
It was Muslims who discovered that the Earth was round 500 years before Galileo did.
The list goes on………..
Just imagine a world without Muslims. Now I think you probably meant, JUST IMAGINE A WORLD WITHOUT TERRORISTS. And then I would agree, the world would definitely be a better place without those pieces of filth. But to hold a whole group responsible for the actions of a few is ignorant and racist. No one would ever expect Christians or White people to be held responsible for the acts of Timothy McVeigh (Oklahoma bombing) or Andreas Brevik (Norway killing), or the gun man that shot Congresswoman Giffords in head, wounded 12 and killed 6 people, and rightly so because they had nothing to do with those incidents! Just like the rest of the 1.5 billion Muslims have nothing to do with this incident!
Sources:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/how-islamic-inventors-changed-the-world-469452.html
http://articles.cnn.com/2010-01-29/world/muslim.inventions_1_hassani-inventions-muslim?_s=PM:WORLD
http://www.ummahedinburgh.co.uk/radio/files/Muslim-Invention-Article.pdf

BURN :)

 Forever reblog.

You know the funny thing is, it seems POC have contributed more to society and civilization than white people ever will. All they seem to do is erase the ethnicity and name and put their stamp on. 

white people would claim they invented the sun if they could

browngxrl:

lostchildofthenewworld:

beautiful-laserz:

thatarabgirl:

whatpath:

Yes, lets imagine a world WITHOUT MUSLIMS, shall we?

Without Muslims you wouldn’t have:

  • Coffee
  • Cameras

  • Experimental Physics

  • Chess

  • Soap

  • Shampoo

  • Perfume/spirits

  • Irrigation

  • Crank-shaft, internal combustion engine, valves, pistons

  • Combination locks

  • Architectural innovation (pointed arch -European Gothic cathedrals adopted this technique as it made the building much stronger, rose windows, dome buildings, round towers, etc.)

  • Surgical instruments

  • Anesthesia

  • Windmill

  • Treatment of Cowpox

  • Fountain pen

  • Numbering system

  • Algebra/Trigonometry

  • Modern Cryptology

  • 3 course meal (soup, meat/fish, fruit/nuts)

  • Crystal glasses

  • Carpets

  • Checks

  • Gardens used for beauty and meditation instead of for herbs and kitchen.

  • University
  • Optics
  • Music
  • Toothbrush
  • Hospitals
  • Bathing
  • Quilting
  • Mariner’s Compass
  • Soft drinks
  • Pendulum
  • Braille
  • Cosmetics
  • Plastic surgery
  • Calligraphy
  • Manufacturing of paper and cloth

It was a Muslim who realized that light ENTERS our eyes, unlike the Greeks who thought we EMITTED rays, and so invented a camera from this discovery.

It was a Muslim who first tried to FLY in 852, even though it is the Wright Brothers who have taken the credit.

It was a Muslim by the name of Jabir ibn Hayyan who was known as the founder of modern Chemistry. He transformed alchemy into chemistry. He invented: distillation, purification, oxidation, evaporation, and filtration. He also discovered sulfuric and nitric acid.

It is a Muslim, by the name of Al-Jazari who is known as the father of robotics.

It was a Muslim who was the architect for Henry V’s castle.

It was a Muslim who invented hollow needles to suck cataracts from eyes, a technique still used today.

It was a Muslim who actually discovered inoculation, not Jenner and Pasteur to treat cowpox. The West just brought it over from Turkey

It was Muslims who contributed much to mathematics like Algebra and Trigonometry, which was imported over to Europe 300 years later to Fibonnaci and the rest.

It was Muslims who discovered that the Earth was round 500 years before Galileo did.

The list goes on………..

Just imagine a world without Muslims. Now I think you probably meant, JUST IMAGINE A WORLD WITHOUT TERRORISTS. And then I would agree, the world would definitely be a better place without those pieces of filth. But to hold a whole group responsible for the actions of a few is ignorant and racist. No one would ever expect Christians or White people to be held responsible for the acts of Timothy McVeigh (Oklahoma bombing) or Andreas Brevik (Norway killing), or the gun man that shot Congresswoman Giffords in head, wounded 12 and killed 6 people, and rightly so because they had nothing to do with those incidents! Just like the rest of the 1.5 billion Muslims have nothing to do with this incident!

Sources:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/how-islamic-inventors-changed-the-world-469452.html

http://articles.cnn.com/2010-01-29/world/muslim.inventions_1_hassani-inventions-muslim?_s=PM:WORLD

http://www.ummahedinburgh.co.uk/radio/files/Muslim-Invention-Article.pdf

BURN :)

 Forever reblog.

You know the funny thing is, it seems POC have contributed more to society and civilization than white people ever will. All they seem to do is erase the ethnicity and name and put their stamp on. 

white people would claim they invented the sun if they could

(via jannineish)

270166 09.22.14

mypatronusisrorypond:

redscudery:

saunteringvaguelydownwards:

decemberpaladin:

sizvideos:

Video

I love how she almost drops it until she smells it and that flashbulb memory hits.

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real … Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

Notice she says “who” it was and not “what” it was.

Oh I just gotta snuggle my baby bear!

(via anomalouswanderer)

sizvideos   193457 09.22.14

silentauroriamthereal:

peacelovehappinessandwriting:

jamesfactscalvin:

mrshudsonstolemytardis:

Prince Harry and John Barrowman both do a mutual high five/ass slap combo omg

Can we just appreciate that John smacked Prince Harry’s royal ass so hard that the guy actually had to rub himself a little while John waves his hand

Can we just appreciate that John smacked Prince Harry’s royal ass 

It’s basically illegal not to reblog this.

(via liamdryden)

mrshudsonstolemytardis   126171 09.22.14